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Meaghan Evans posted a condolence
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
Graeme and Kate were my neighbours at Caroline Street in Hamilton. I still think about Graeme (and Kate) all the time. We were friendly but I wish the pandemic didn't prevent us from getting to know each other better. That being said, I could smell their meals and hear him playing guitar and saw them on their daily walks and it made me smile in that tumultuous time of life.
Just want to send my best wishes to all his people. He is remembered.
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Mum uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, July 1, 2023
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Almost two years have passed since Graeme's death. Kate, Mark and I, our families, close friends and communities continue to support each other as we walk the heartbreaking journey of life without him. So many bumps in this road - many foreseen but others that surprise us. We stumble, might get bruised, but pick ourselves up and continue on.
So many comments posted here have helped us on this journey. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories and photos. What a character Graeme was! He filled us up and made our lives better by his presence. Never short on words, he connected with people from many different walks of life, genuinely interested in learning more about them.
He was curious, creative, hilarious, irreverent, musical, inquisitive, loyal, unconventional, dedicated, brilliant, and most of all devoted - to Kate first and foremost, and to his family, to his friends, and colleagues. He chose a work-life balance that kept him challenged but happy. So much more to do, see, feel, change and accomplish. We miss him, so very, very much, every single day.
with love, Mum"
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Colin posted a condolence
Thursday, March 31, 2022
I had only learned of Graeme's passing recently. I had the privilege of working closely with him while at The Supreme Cannabis Company. An amazing person overall, always filled with positive and joking energy, very intelligent and a great person to talk to. My thoughts go out to his family and friends.
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Martina Hardwick posted a condolence
Tuesday, March 15, 2022
I'm just learning of Graeme's passing today. He was a great person. Graeme first appeared in one of my classes, when he proclaimed during discussion that when he was king of the world, things would be different!!! and I knew from that moment that this year's set of students would be fun. With Graeme in the room, they were. He was an excellent student who worked hard and knew what he wanted and went after it with a single-minded determination.
Graeme accomplished a lot. I don't think anyone who ever met him would not doubt that he was an amazing guy. More important, he was a fun and well-rounded person.
The world is poorer without him.
--Martina Hardwick
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Will Anker posted a condolence
Saturday, October 23, 2021
I've been pondering memories of Graeme and how best to share them. In the end all they all (music trips, bands, peapods, eleven, gifted class, jokes shared) came down to Graeme making me feel like a good friend. His kindness made a difference and will be remembered.
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Kate's Book Club: Beth, Miranda, Lori, Bethany, Maya, Charlotte, Michele, Sara donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, October 21, 2021
Sending all our condolences and thoughts to Kate and Graeme's family.
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Jacqueline Green posted a condolence
Sunday, September 19, 2021
My deepest condolences to Kate and all of Graeme’s family and close friends.
Graeme and I met in the gifted programme at Port Perry high school. We became fast friends and often partners for science projects. We would hang out after school with friends and listening to music or practicing for the improv team.
Graeme was a very intelligent and funny guy.
There will always be memories close to my heart.
I’m so sorry for the loss of this wonderful man who meant so much to so many people.
M
Misha Boutilier uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, September 19, 2021
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Graeme was an incredible friend and human being. We met in summer 2016, when we were both summering at the same law firm. Our friendship began towards the end of that summer when Graeme made a habit of dropping by my desk to share his thoughts about an assignment I'd been given and generally to make small talk. I'm very grateful that Graeme did that, and it turned into five years of a great friendship. It was also a sign of the type of person Graeme was. It was a busy summer at work, and the natural tendency (at least for me) could be to bury oneself at their desk. But for Graeme, helping people and connecting with other people was always more important. That's one thing that Graeme taught me that I hope to take to heart.
That desire to help other people was something I witnessed throughout my friendship with Graeme. I remember messaging with Graeme in December 2018 about what he was up to. He wrote that he was volunteering with a group that provided free moving services to people fleeing domestic violence, and that "I drive a moving van and move heavy stuff, it's awesome." I also recently came across notes that I took on a conversation with Graeme that I had after my partner of now three years and I started dating. Graeme, it turned out, knew a lot about long-distance relationships and offered some really good advice. And since he's passing, I have been amazed by how many other people that Graeme has helped, both in and outside of the law community.
Graeme was also someone who knew what was important in life and how to enjoy life. He loved music, spending time with friends, and being in the outdoors. He introduced me to a few quality Toronto-area watering holes, and invited me to a music performance by one of his friends. He was a supportive partner--I still remember him talking about how he had decided to exit Bay Street and go in-house in part so he could support Kate during her MBA, just as Kate had supported him while he was summering and articling at Bennett Jones.
I was shocked to hear that Graeme had passed away. I miss him deeply. I hope to honor his memory by living some of the things that he taught me.
D
Dave Marr uploaded photo(s)
Friday, August 27, 2021
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Graeme was a great guy. We were both in the same residence on the same floor in first year out in west campus. Immediately, anyone could see what a friendly and charismatic guy he was, the punk rocker get up and jean vest just added to his character.
I ran into Graeme again at Golden Words in my fourth year. He had already been a writer and an editor before I was even there. When I showed up, he was more like an aloof CEO that would show up from time to time to dispense comedy wisdom to his faithful serfs. When he felt generous (which was often), he would even write an article or two. A Graeme article rounded out an issue like nothing else did and when he graced the writer's room with his presence, you could tell just how much people admired and looked up to him.
After University, I saw Graeme sporadically, at a local concert, and then again at a Golden Words reunion. I was shocked and saddened to hear of his passing in the local paper. He was gone far too soon and will be missed by the many people he came across in his life.
D
Dorothy Partridge donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, August 26, 2021
There are no words, only my deepest sympathy...
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Jim Marchment uploaded photo(s)
Thursday, August 26, 2021
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I was lucky to get to know Graeme during his years at PPHS. I am pretty sure I never called him ‘Graeme’… he was always ‘Melcher.’ But I was always just ‘Marchment’ to Graeme (never Mr. Marchment). I loved his taste in music and his sense of humour… two things we definitely shared. Graeme was in my English class but I got to know him best during our time together in yearbook class.
A lot of strange things went on in yearbook class that had little to do with actually making a yearbook. If the principal asked, it was all important ‘team building’ activities… but mostly it was just fun, silliness, and goofing off. We shared stories and music, we argued and debated, we went on coffee runs, we started a dodgeball team, and there was the occasional nap on the yearbook couch. ‘Melcher’ was a gleeful participant in all of the above but the greatest achievement of that year (besides making a yearbook) was our yearbook band.
Of course, Melcher was one of the musical masterminds of our band that we entered in the school ‘Battle of the Bands.’ It was decided that we would be a jug band… and we would make our own instruments. I’ll never forget when Graeme showed up with his home-made washtub base… with a hockey stick, twine, and a ‘borrowed’ washtub. He was very proud of his creation (and very concerned about returning the washtub unscathed after our performance). The one instrument we neglected to procure was… a jug. Seemingly a glaring omission in a jug band but Melcher solved our dilemma by naming the band the ‘Jug-or-Nots.’ Every student in the class was in this band… whether they played spoons, a washboard, or a kazoo. And why wouldn’t they be? Everyone wanted to be in a band with Melcher (especially when they saw him flailing away on his washtub bass playing punk rock bluegrass). He was not the lead singer, but he was the heart and soul of the band. Graeme was always willing to fearlessly embrace the silly and the absurd and make everyone around him feel safe to join him. He was the cool kid who was never too cool to be everyone’s friend.
My condolences to Graeme’s family and friends. He will be missed.
A
Austin Hudson uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, August 25, 2021
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I'm saddened and still in a bit of disbelief over Gaeme's passing. Our parents would tell you we met on the park by the Uxpool at some point before we had even started grade school, but we formally met when I was in the 3rd grade and had just switched schools to join the "Gifties", as they called us. When you're one of three kids from one small town, in a 3/4/5 split in another small town, you latch onto your new friends quickly. Needless to say, throughout elementary and high school, we were practically joined at the hip.
We even had a bit of a running joke going based on how much time we spent together. When we got to about 8 years of friendship, we joked that at year 10 we would go out to a fancy restaurant, have ourselves a big ol' fancy meal, and when the staff ask what we were celebrating we would say, completely deadpan, "Our Anniversary." While we never got to do that, the thought of our Bromance Anniversaire will always bring a smile to my face.
I've got countless memories with Graeme. School trips, band practice after band practice and gig after gig, improv competitions (especially the day Rebel Improv was robbed and Graeme, uh, made his mark on the Pineridge bulletin board), sleepovers where watching M*A*S*H or 70's Show until all hours of the night, summer after summer after summer at the cottage, or Laerg as some will know it better, visiting Queens and getting the true "Queens Experience" complete with Turbo. The rainbow of colours he'd dyed into his hair (and the botched Leopard Print Job!), even just roaming the high school halls, with a coffee in hand, 9 times out of 10 Graeme was there.
There was one time where Lars Frederiksen, a music hero of Graeme's, had a guest spot at a local tattoo shop in NYC. Graeme jumped on what I believe was a series of busses over a 30+ hour trip from Kingston down to NYC, and got tattoo'd by the man himself! He was so excited, even if it was literally 4 letters. Then every so often, in conversation or even just out of the blue, Graeme would ask me "Hey, remember that time I got tattoo'd from Lars?" He even went as far at to write me a letter on a his typewriter (that he obtained from yard sale-ing, another thing he loved) simply to ask me if I remembered the time. He even mailed it to my Toronto address!
I'm honoured to have been able to share the laughter and call Graeme by best friend, my best man, and a brother for more than 2 decades. My heart goes out to Nancy, Mark, Kate and everyone who was lucky enough to call Graeme a friend. I love you my dude.
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Tyler N lit a candle
Sunday, August 22, 2021
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Jennifer Owen uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, August 18, 2021
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I have been deeply shaken and saddened to hear of Graeme's passing and it has taken me some time to figure out what to say.
I am still not quite sure how to put into words the impact of his presence in my life. I met Graeme in 2002 during Uxbridge Musical Theatre's production of Oliver. From there we shared the stage for theatre and music, shared laughs, pushed each others buttons, shared a kitchen at Queen's, and developed the kind of friendship that ebbed and flowed but always picked up where it left off. Throughout it all, Graeme managed to remain somewhat of an enigma to me with his tough exterior and persona (which usually resulted in an eye roll from me), yet kind, generous, fiercely loyal, and protective heart. He was the most unapologetically confidently quirky force to be reckoned with. He was a good 'un.
I was fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of Graeme's care, loyalty, and protection on more than one occasion over the years. I remember the day in my 4th year that I learned Graeme attended Queen's (he was starting his second year), I was at the main Sci' 44 co-op building and was just about to leave when we ran into each other on the steps. In that moment he was my lifeboat, I was going through a truly terrible time and seeing him made the world of difference. He took the time to catch up and realized that I was in need of a friend in that moment so we went to the grocery store, he brought over Clone High, we spent hours hanging out, chatting, and for the first time in weeks I felt almost human. Despite our being out of contact for a few years at that point, having that time with Graeme - who was so familiar and knew me so well - was like a piece of home, a security blanket from all the negative that I was going through. That was also the beautiful contradiction of the Graeme I knew, he would needle and take the piss to get a rise, but he would also always be there to uplift and help those he cared about.
Over the last 5 years, Graeme's occasional check in messages always brought a smile to my face. I am gutted that our attempts to meet up for a drink and catch up never materialized, it would have been wonderful to celebrate the many successes and life changes experienced.
Nancy, Mark, and Kate, my heart breaks for each of you. There are no words to ease the grief and pain that comes from such an unfathomable loss. I hope that it is some small consolation to know what a positive and lasting impact Graeme had on so many. He was truly cherished. My deepest condolences to each of you.
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Adam Brykajlo lit a candle
Tuesday, August 17, 2021
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Caitlin Schindler uploaded photo(s)
Monday, August 16, 2021
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I have put off writing this as I don’t want to process that Graeme is not with us anymore. I simply assumed that, any time I came home and wanted to hang out, he would be there, coming round with a bottle of Baby Duck. It’s his M.O. – a great, reliable, generous friend, who wanted everyone to belong, to feel welcome, to have a laugh and a chat. And he was pretty much always successful with that.
Like a lot of others who have shared their wonderful memories, I knew Graeme from Golden Words and he was so central to many of my greatest memories at Queen’s. In my early days of GW, living in my first student house and keen to fit in, I offered to host a GW party at mine, which Graeme strongly cautioned me against. I should have heeded his wisdom – when I woke up the next day with dirty clothes, condoms (unused? Right, guys?!), red cups, and cake strewn about, I knew he was right. Yet, there he was bright and early the next morning; the Responsible Editor, ready to restore order.
Graeme has always been so comfortably, unashamedly himself, and it was impossible not to let that confidence rub off on you. Early in our friendship, he tried to get me into some of the music he liked. I unfortunately wasn’t into it (Frank Turner – sorry Graeme, but I still hate him) and tried to get back at him by introducing him to Ke$ha. It backfired. He absolutely loved it. I do believe ‘Grow a Pear’ was both of our favourites, which you can search for a laugh/ear bleed.
OK, one more thing. When I finally got to experience the time-honoured tradition of cresting (a form of initiation into Golden Words’ hall of fame), I was excited yet anxious. Graeme was the senior GWer that night and, essentially, the Master of Ceremonies™. I showed up ready to get filthy and be humiliated. Weird, random accessories were donned. Oatmeal was slopped. Sharpie drawings onto the face. And then out came the platter of mystery shots. With some concern, I asked what was in them, and was simply told, “the MYSTERY is the FUN!” But Graeme immediately pulled me aside, looked me straight in the face and said, “Absolutely do not do anything you aren’t comfortable with. Just give me a signal and it’s over.” I will never forget that amidst creating this silly, insane experience, truly a rite of passage in my Queen’s career, Graeme still went out of his way to look out for everyone’s well-being.
So that’s who Graeme is to me. A big, cuddly, generous, loud, considerate, confident teddy bear, with questionable music tastes, wrapped up in a bunch of tattoos and ripped denim. A truly unique friend if there ever was one. Love ya, pal.
To Kate and to Graeme’s family, my heart is broken for you. I hope everyone’s memories here help to show what you already know: that Graeme was truly a force of joy and positive energy in everyone’s lives that he touched, and he won’t (and can’t!) ever be forgotten.
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Diane Descary lit a candle
Monday, August 16, 2021
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I am so sorry for your loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Diane Descary
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Jaclyn Gruenberger posted a condolence
Monday, August 16, 2021
I'm so sad to hear of Graeme's passing. Like many others, I also first met Graeme at Golden Words. I was a shy first-year and felt intimidated at first, but Graeme was so friendly and always made me feel welcome. I spent many Sundays in the GW office quietly copy editing and listening to Graeme and the staff writers come up with articles, their ideas growing more and more absurd the later it got. I admired Graeme's ability to consistently come up with an unending series of hilarious ideas. His ability to make everyone laugh was not confined to his writing, of course - hanging out with Graeme was a guarantee that you would be laughing and having a good time.
I was there the first time Graeme and Kate met - Kate walked in to the Golden Words office to inquire about becoming a copy editor, and it was obvious to all of us there that Graeme was immediately smitten. He walked over to Kate right away and confidently introduced himself. Many would have hesitated or doubted themselves, but Graeme knew what he wanted to do and went for it, which I came to realize is how he acted in most areas of his life. When he was passionate about something, he let it show - whether that something was tattoos, comedy, music, or Kate.
My deepest condolences are with Kate and with Graeme's family. I'm so very sorry.
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Julia Stevens posted a condolence
Sunday, August 15, 2021
I am so sorry to hear of Graeme’s passing. I knew Graeme from GW and Queen’s history. He was a wonderful spirit— adding edge and quadrupling the tattoo count of any history seminar— and could not hide his caring and integrity behind his gruffness and doc martens despite his best efforts. He was beyond his years and I admired his work ethic, wit, and confidence. He was always up for a tipple, singing Tracey Chapman’s Fast Car without care, discussing history and politics, and was always someone to ensure that folks got home safely. Graeme was one of those people you connect with in life where you feel as though you could pick up immediately where you left off. As years passed and lives get busy, I had many moments after reading a good book or learning an obscure historic fact, and thought “Graeme would appreciate this.” My heart breaks for Kate and Graeme’s families and hope that these memories bring some comfort.
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Elizabeth Barker uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, August 15, 2021
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There is no one like Graeme. From the grumbling musicality of his voice to his explosive expressions of unadulterated joy, it was near impossible to walk into a room without knowing he was there--unless he didn't want you to. To this day I don't know how he managed to sneak up on me so many times (being twice my height), always with a raspy "Lizbeeeeth" and a wicked grin on his face. And although I'd usually roll my eyes or jump and accidentally crash into him, I actually did like the nickname, and I'll never forget that sound.
I'm another GW-er who worked with Graeme both before and during his time as editor. No one has looked more natural in that one-size-fits-all jersey and for a time he more or less embodied Golden Words. He took being an editor both incredibly seriously, and not seriously at all, working tirelessly to promote the paper across campus but maintaining a completely relaxed atmosphere during production. He put his all into it, and even if our output was not, uh, I'm going to go with "the best", he and Nick created a wonderful community that I still regard as family.
Graeme knew what he liked and, after spending a bit of time with him, so did you--and you knew its origins, why it was worthwhile, and also a funny personalized anecdote. Graeme had a passion for inadvertently educating, and to this day I can't look at Doc Martens or Celtic rock without thinking of him (and I'm still SO GRATEFUL because I wouldn't know of the Dropkick Murphys without him.)
Graeme will always be a significant part of my stories from Queen's, He more or less orchestrated my favourite day of university. They dropped the largest pumpkin ever as a charity event on the field in front of Leonard. Graeme and I were there with Kenji in some kind of official Golden Words capacity (though I may have just wandered in). To raise funds, they raffled off who would pull the cord to release this 2-ton pumpkin from this enormous crane and they ended up calling my name! It was the randomest, most wonderful experience (I can still see the shockwave if I close my eyes hard enough--also there's a video somewhere). I ran over to Graeme afterwards just beyond excited and hyper and he laughed and hugged me like this benevolent older brother - he had bought a bunch of tickets and put them all in my name because he knew how much I liked Halloween and pumpkins and such.
It was around this time that Kate began attending Golden Words and I was lucky enough to watch the love story unfold. One of the photos below is Linus and Willow dancing around each other at a Halloween party. Hindsight makes me love this photo all the more.
After Queen's we all saw each other less and less and, unfortunately, we began to lose touch. His becoming a lawyer made sense, as much as he portrayed this devil-may-care attitude, all of Graeme's academic achievements were hard fought for and well deserved. He always worked hard and put effort into his "book learnings." I think I jokingly said to him at one point "I worry about the poor souls who are against your future clients." I have no doubt his clients loved him, and I'm sure he did an amazing job.
I'm sorry for going on for so long. To Kate and Graeme's family, I am so sorry for your loss. I know there's nothing to say that will ease the pain, but he isn't forgotten, and won't be. You don't forget someone as vibrant as Graeme.
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Lauren De Vries posted a condolence
Sunday, August 15, 2021
I'm shocked and saddened to hear of the passing of Graeme, and I'd like to offer my condolences to all that knew and loved him. I'm yet another Golden Words weirdo that Graeme ushered into a drunken family with two dads and twice as much pizza as you'd ever need. Coming from a different province with literally no connections to anyone, Graeme helped to create a familiar and welcoming place for all the strays on campus, a feat I learned later when serving as editor myself was no easy task (he just made it look easy).
Graeme always seemed 30 to me, and by that I mean mature but still silly. Like he knew the world but still loved it, even if it got a little rough around the edges. Every time I saw him he was smiling, and every time anything remotely related to the working class got brought up he was fiery. He was like Bruce Springsteen if Bruce Springsteen was Canadian and obsessed with biker gangs.
I'm sad that I haven't seen him in a while, and sadder still that he's gone. The world's a little bleaker for it, and Etsy stores that sell cool patches probably a few thousand dollars poorer. He was a great guy, and the world and all his friends and family deserved to keep him in it for much longer. Hearts and hugs to anyone that needs them.
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Micki posted a condolence
Sunday, August 15, 2021
I remember meeting Graeme for the first time because it was also the first (and only) instance I have lied during an interview process. After sending off an application for a writer at Golden Words, I felt so nervous that I sent an email trying to get my application removed. I told the editors three lies in one quick email:
1) My application was a rough draft (it wasn’t),
2) It was my roommate's application (I didn’t have a roommate)
3) The document was actually a term paper with sensitive information that would need to be deleted (also, not true).
Graeme replied with an interview time. Telling me to explain what happened in person.
The next day I sat across from Graeme and Nick, feeling that they were going to chew me out for wasting their time. I remember thinking “I think the guy with the vest and tattoos might punch me”. I stupidly attempted an encore performance of my terrible lies, listing off the series of excuses a second time until Graeme interrupted me and put my printed application on the table and asked: “okay, so before we get too far down whatever road you’re dragging us along: is this the right application? Is this the one you wanted to send in?
I told him the truth. That yes, it was the exact application I intended on sending. I just didn’t tell him that I just felt like an idiot for writing it in the first place.
His response: “Great! - cause this was one of our favourite applications, and we thought we might have to ask for your roommates’ contact. This is way easier and far less awkward. And by the way? If you’re going to try lying to get out of something cause you’re scared, stick to one lie. Works better.” I got the job, and was lucky that Graeme was one of my editors.
I tell this story because I think it explains so much about Graeme. His willingness to give someone the benefit of the doubt, his directness and blunt dry humour, and ability to quickly empathize with people.
Many people do not get the chance to have someone in their life that encourages and pushes them to do better and get out of their comfort zone. I am lucky Graeme was that person for me. I think he was that person for a lot of people without even knowing it.
Knowing him, he wouldn’t even appear hazed by this statement, he would just crack an easy joke and carry on ‘writing the funny;’. He was someone who you could not miss in a room, but also made everyone feel welcome sharing that space with him and knew instinctively how to lift others up. He knew when to push and when to listen - it is a trait that is hard to come by, and even rarer to see in a guy so young. To say that this is a huge loss and Graeme will be sorely missed is an understatement. My deepest condolences to Kate, his family and friends, I am so sorry for your loss.
My condolences,
-Micki Buie
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Shelby lit a candle
Saturday, August 14, 2021
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Like many others here, I met Graeme at Queens back in 2011, when he was serving as editor for Golden Words. He was interviewing me for the Events Manager position, and I remember being uncertain at the time of what to make of this boisterous guy, with a vest covered in patches (and arms covered in tattoos). Well, despite me not having a lick of experience, he offered me the job, and that kicked off 10 years of friendship that I’ll never forget.
I’d like to share a few of my fondest memories of Graeme, that we’d rehash on an annual basis (or so) at whatever pub was most convenient. Graeme, ever the story-teller, would always take the lead on this, so I hope to do them justice.
(1) Graeme loved Cresting Parties, which were legendary at Golden Words for destroying both people’s reputations - and their houses. What was Cresting? Well, after you’d earned your Golden Words “stripes”, you were awarded a Crest, but only after participating in a night of over the top games, minor hazing, and copious amounts of drinking. Graeme was the guy at the forefront of the festivities, laughing like a madman as he created a grenade of oatmeal and water to launch at that semester’s Crestees - but he was also the guy who showed up the next day to help clean up the mess, even though we both knew he’d rather be at Tommy’s.
(2) Graeme was always willing to provide a character reference… but on his own terms. I know this because when I asked him to act as a reference for my first real internship, he happily agreed, but imagine my surprise when I heard him introduce himself to the recruiter as Reverend Graeme Melcher. What followed was a 30 minute conversation that I’ve mostly blocked out, but I distinctly remember him saying the phrase “I swear I’m not blowing smoke up your ass”. And imagine my further surprise when I somehow still got the job, because despite his tough exterior, he sincerely wanted the best for those he cared about.
(3) Graeme was the first one to step up any time the situation called for it. Like that one week (after he’d passed on the Editors mantel) that he came back for a “celebrity edition” of the paper because our new editors had managed to catch the ire of the Dean of Engineering (and most of the Kingston Fire Department) after going a little too out of the box for that week’s cover photo.
There’s a hundred more moments like these that I will cherish for the rest of my life. To Kate, Graeme’s family, and his many, many friends, please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.
Graeme, I’ll always admire you for your fantastic sense of humour, fierce loyalty, and your endless pursuit to find value in other human beings, no matter who they are. I’m so privileged to have known you, and the world will always be a little darker without you in it.
I’ll miss you buddy.
Love, Shelby
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Caroline F. uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, August 14, 2021
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Graeme was the best big brother anyone could ask for. It may seem a bit random, but the memory of him that keeps coming back to me is the time he squashed a wasp with only his thumb. As a kid who was thoroughly freaked by all things insect, watching him do that solidified his place in my mind as the ultimate bravest and coolest person on the planet. And the more I grew up, he only got cooler.
Graeme taught me many things, like how to chop wood, how to talk to nazis (you punch them), and he gave me my first ever boxing lesson (unclear if that was lesson 2 in talking to nazis). But the best lessons he ever gave me were the less formal ones, the ones he taught by example. He was an incredibly kind and compassionate person who would genuinely listen to what you told him, rather than just wait for his turn to jump in and start talking. He was always interested in what was going on in my life; he celebrated with me through the good things and supported me through the bad. He was generous: he used to pick me and my siblings up from school and take us to A&W, he gave us each one of his old hoodies after we attempted to stea- *cough* I mean expressed an interest in one he was wearing, he bought us ice cream on hot days, and he invited me to stay with him and Kate in Toronto where they took me axe throwing, to the cinema, and to Toronto island. One time, just after I told him I was going to Dal, he took me to Tim’s and spent the whole time starring places in my google maps for me to check out while I was in Halifax. I later received a care package in the mail with a gift certificate to his favourite bar and a copy of their menu with starred food items for me to order. If you’re ever in Halifax, go to Freeman’s and get the fried pepperoni with honey mustard dipping sauce.
Graeme was one of the first people I would contact about anything big that happened in my life - good or bad - and since his passing I have found myself going to text him because I need someone to talk to about it. He was the best big brother, and while I am devastated by his loss, I will forever be grateful that I got to know him, and I will cherish my memories of him always. Love you Graeme
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Nick Papaxanthos uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, August 14, 2021
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I liked Graeme before ever meeting him. My favorite pieces of writing in Queen’s comedy newspaper, Golden Words, were written by him. Each week I searched the paper for his moniker, knowing that he’d deliver the good stuff. This guy understood funny.
A year later I worked up the courage to apply to Golden Words as a copyeditor. I’ll admit to being star-struck the first time I was asked to review one of Graeme’s articles for typos. Somehow I’d been trusted with the task of polishing the work of one of my comedy heroes.
At first I found Graeme intimidating. Maybe it was all the tattoos. But as we worked together as co-editors, I learned that Graeme’s tough exterior was only half the story. I admired his work ethic, his easygoing attitude with the new hires, and his dedication.
One week, I remember taking hours writing my half-page editorial. Graeme meanwhile was cranking out article after article, filling up space that had been abandoned by our staff writers. Boy was I grateful. While I got caught up in small details, he was a content-creating workhorse.
I loved that feeling when Graeme cracked-up over one of my jokes. Or when we laughed together for whatever reason. We exchanged letters at some point. I kept one and thought I’d post an excerpt which highlights those two sides of him I remember: adventurous and tough, but sensitive too:
“All in all, a decent weekend. I got to ride bikes + advance my license class, all without paying ungodly insurance rates, AND I got discounts on tattoos. Let me tell you, everything’s coming up Milhouse…Writing letters to friends has become a great hobby of mine. My job is so damn boring, writing letters to people provides me with a nice outlet, a way to escape for a while.”
Graeme, I’ll miss you. I’ll always remember you for what I’ve written here and more. I’m so pleased Kate brought such meaning and joy into your life, and I consider myself lucky to have played a small role in your story.
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Freeman posted a condolence
Saturday, August 14, 2021
I’m very saddened to hear of this terrible news. My time with Graeme at Golden Words will always be special to me. Graeme was the head of the house, always there to provide ideas and guidance to me as an illustrator. I tried my best to bring his funny premises to life. I will always remember him as a tattooed badass with a bright grin and a contagious sense of humour. My deepest condolences to Kate and the family.
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Bonnie Chan donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Saturday, August 14, 2021
I'm so sorry to hear of Graeme's passing. Some of my best memories of my time at Queen's are from press night at Golden Words. Graeme was a big part of that. I'll always remember Graeme for his humour and warmth. He and Nick welcomed a first year into GW with no writing or editing or Photoshop experience and gave me a chance to try it all while also giving me a place to feel welcome every week. I'm very grateful to have met him. My deepest condolences to Kate and your families.
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Alex Dutka uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, August 14, 2021
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I met Graeme near the end of high school in Port Perry. We didn’t share many social circles, because he was two years older and because I didn’t have many to share. But circumstance led to us spending some time together, and the one time he gave me his lecture on real rock music might have been the most informative lecture I got that year.
Eventually high school ended and I attended Queen’s University. There I was surprised to find Graeme’s manic face staring back at me when I first walked through the doors to the Golden Words Comedy newspaper. It was my first time living on my own and Graeme was a little slice of hometown familiarity. With all these thousands of new strangers around, from all over the province, country, and world, there was still somebody I could count on to know who Mr. Copp was (“quiet down, ya turkeys”).
He was, for my life, a trailblazer – always doing first what I would follow. We both left Port Perry High School to go the Queen’s. We both became writers and then editors for Golden Words (different years), We both spent summers working at the same box factory (different shifts). We both fell hard for Golden Words copy-editors (different women). We both went to law school (different countries) and both complained about the bar exam and tuition.
After I met him at Queen’s, Graeme soon became a true friend. When my mom passed away before my second year, Graeme made an effort to make sure I was faring well after the semester started. With my brothers living in different cities, Graeme easily stepped into an approximation of the role. Those reading this who know me, likely know that I am not the most popular person in the world. But Graeme was always there to make sure I wouldn’t spend a birthday or Canada Day alone (“not once, not ever”).
And just like an older brother, he gave me plenty of advice - he, quite literally, said all of these things:
On romance: “Dutka – you’re like 6’10 and they outnumber you 2-1 on campus, even you can’t mess up those odds” (As a side story – he even helped once on this front, by giving me the VIP treatment to one of his concerts for a date idea – tickets reserved and held for me at the door, drink tickets included, and meeting up with the band afterwards).
On dining etiquette: “Dutka – if you order a Bud Light in a craft brewery with me again, I’m leaving.” (I think it was the first time I actually made him angry).
On lists: “Dutka – funny lists come in threes. THREES!” (Real advice from our comedy newspaper days).
Eventually, he graduated (although he stuck around for a 5th year to get a Masters degree and to tell me more about biker gangs than I ever needed to know), and we both moved on to law schools, hundreds of miles from each other and from home.
We would check in on each other through texts with shared memories and references. It is a credit to Graeme’s wit that, as I reread these messages today, he is still managing to make me laugh even as I tear up. I think he would find it funny that, not more than 10 minutes ago, his Golden Words article on a jam-obsessed Judge Judy made me cry. (He hated how much that article made me laugh, and would often point me to his better written, more polished pieces).
When we came back for winter breaks, I found he had orchestrated group events for us to reconnect and, although he would deny it, to drink Baby Duck (one of those drinks you love to hate).
Graeme lived life large, so I know that our friendship was just a footnote in his story, but for me, it was a chapter. He was a great friend when I needed one most. I won’t forget him. Not once, not ever.
Photos.
1 (Golden Words alumni during a winter break reunion)
2 (Graeme almost looking handsome enough for Kate)
3 (Graeme showing me just how much he appreciates having his photo taken)
4 (Graeme pretending not to love Baby Duck)
5 (Graeme doing a set)
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Raymond Engelsman lit a candle
Saturday, August 14, 2021
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This breaks my heart. I give all my thoughts and kindness in this time of great pain. Im so sorry for this tragety.
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B.J. posted a condolence
Saturday, August 14, 2021
Graeme was the editor of Golden Words when I was there, and before that a big part of the writing team. He contributed greatly to the sense of community at the organization, and unsurprisingly created many good laughs.
Thinking of him and your family, best wishes.
-B.J.
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Linda Myles uploaded photo(s)
Thursday, August 12, 2021
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Graeme was such a shining light, a vibrant, energetic and positive force right from the beginning. Even though he was a very young child, in fact one of the youngest kids in our extended family of skiing and canoeing friends he always strived to be involved and a included in the fun. Graeme you will remain in our hearts and in our memories as one of the BEST who was taken from us far too early. Your extended family in our community of friends will always keep your memory alive.
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Mark Silvestrin posted a condolence
Tuesday, August 10, 2021
Mark, I just heard of the new and wanted to send my sincere condolences to you and your family.
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Cathy, Les and Matthew Grosz donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Tuesday, August 10, 2021
It is with sincere sadness to hear of Graeme's passing. Our family have many fond memories of Graeme. From the car ride home from work on the DVP, using the diamond lanes with Graeme laying down in the seat having a nap beside me, just waiting to be pulled over by the police as it appeared we only had one passenger in the car, to his generous time helping and teaching our son Matthew how to string his guitar, to knowing that he would do anything for you or his community. Graeme's smile, generosity and friendship to all will be dearly missed. Especially here at the Grosz family.
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Kathleen lit a candle
Tuesday, August 10, 2021
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My deepest condolences to the family…..
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The Leslie Family donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Sunday, August 8, 2021
In loving memory of our “other cousin” Graeme. We will miss you always.
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Kate Devlin donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Tuesday, August 3, 2021
I was lucky enough to attend law school with Graeme at Dal and then summer and article together at Bennett Jones. I will cherish forever our long life chats (while eating numerous packages of candies that he kept in his desk) and the pep talks he had at the ready whenever I needed them. He was such a light to so many and will be missed always. My heartfelt condolences to Kate and your entire family.
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Doug` Fenton donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, July 29, 2021
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have incredibly fond memories of my time articling with Graeme at Bennett Jones LLP. He was such a loyal and good friend. I will miss him.
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Matthew Chippin posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 27, 2021
Went to law school with Graeme. Always a nice and pleasant person. My most sincere condolences to all his family and friends.
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Karl Damus uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, July 25, 2021
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Graeme was the best brother one could ask for. Graeme was supportive, funny, intelligent, and so much more. As an only child, all of his parent's attention was on him. I, with 3 older sisters, did not have a similar experience. When my sisters were prepping to leave home for University, Graeme shared some advice. He told me about how interesting the ceiling was. I was puzzled. He told me that when I felt too much attention from my parents that I should stare at the ceiling; it was something he had learned throughout his years of being an only child. I laughed at his funny advice but it came in handy a couple of times.
I'll be off to University in the fall, so I won't have any parents to embarrass me anymore. Even so, I will still look up at the ceiling and think of you.
Thank you for years of your wisdom, laughter, kindness, and being the best brother ever.
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Dale Hickey and Jim Knox donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, July 22, 2021
Our deepest sympathy.
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Shelley Macbeth, Paul, Caitlin and Daniel Bagg donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, July 22, 2021
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Manon Tabb donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
Graeme clearly was respected, admired, and so very loved. His passing is the most unimaginable loss. Our love and thoughts will be with you always. His sense of humour, his funny pranks, and his deep love for his family and friends, will be remembered easily and always.
Manon and Ken
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Pamela Schott posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
My sincere and deepest condolences to the family on the passing of Graeme. I will always remember Graeme with a smile on his face. My heart hurts for all of you. God Bless - Pam Schott
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Azam Dawood posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
So deeply saddened to hear of Graeme's passing. My deepest condolences to you, Mark and Nancy. A remarkable young man in every sense. Bless.
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Colin Languedoc donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
I know that Graeme would want donations sent to the Foundation so that others can be assisted in their hour of need.
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Lisa Fearnley-Brown posted a condolence
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
Dear Nancy and Mark.
What a complete shock to hear about Graeme. I keep thinking of youth theatre and how his personality back then was so buoyant. How he mentored the younger actors. How far he had come from those early Uxbridge years. Our family is sending condolences for the loss of your son. He was a gifted, talented young man and lived his life to the fullest for which I know you were both extremely proud. So incredibly sorry, again, for your loss and sending love and hugs to you both. Lisa Fearnley-Brown and family.
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Han posted a condolence
Monday, July 19, 2021
My deepest condolences to Mark and Nancy for your loss. May the memories of Graeme be a blessing always.
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Joy Baptista posted a condolence
Monday, July 19, 2021
Mark and Nancy please accept my deepest condolences. May God give you the strength and peace as you go through this difficult time. May his soul Rest In Peace.
Joy, Bmo6EP4T
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Brandon McNaul posted a condolence
Sunday, July 18, 2021
So very saddened to hear of Graeme’s passing. I remember the fun times we had when we were young in Scouting together. And later on; our mutual taste in music allowed another common bond. He will be dearly missed. My thoughts are with the family during this difficult time.
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Sherry Nendick posted a condolence
Saturday, July 17, 2021
I am shocked and saddened to hear of Graeme’s passing. I offer my sincerest condolences to the entire family. Graeme was an outstanding Drama student, thoughtful peer tutor, and a talented improviser who continued to mentor the Port Perry Rebel Improv Team long after his high school graduation. I will always have a special place in my heart for him.
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Kyffen posted a condolence
Saturday, July 17, 2021
I remember Graeme as a student at RHC in Port Perry. He was kind, funny, creative, intelligent, quick-witted, and a positive presence anywhere he went. Nancy and family, I am so very sorry to hear of Graeme’s passing. This is devastating. I wish you peace, strength, and love as you navigate this most difficult and painful path. May Graeme’s soul Rest In Peace.
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Suzanne Roy donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Saturday, July 17, 2021
So sorry for the loss of your son. Gone too soon. Sincere condolences to the family.
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Lorna lit a candle
Friday, July 16, 2021
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May the memories held deep inside your hearts help to comfort you...with deepest sympathy to Graeme's family. Lorna
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Tara Hannah donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Friday, July 16, 2021
In loving memory of dear Graeme.
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Carol Salamone donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Friday, July 16, 2021
I cannot begin to express my sorrow to you. Graeme was a student so full of energy and passion. My prayers are with you.
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Rory Taillon uploaded photo(s)
Friday, July 16, 2021
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Coleen Power posted a condolence
Friday, July 16, 2021
So sad to hear of Graeme’s passing. Sincere condolences to you Nancy and family. I have fond memories of Graeme as a student at R.H. Cornish.
Coleen Power
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David Marsden lit a candle
Friday, July 16, 2021
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The Supreme Cannabis Company donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, July 15, 2021
On behalf of The Supreme Cannabis Company, we would like to offer our sincere sympathy. Graeme's humour, empathy and thoughtfulness was felt by the entire team.
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Meg Bennett posted a condolence
Thursday, July 15, 2021
I met Graeme at Bennett Jones in the summer of 2016 and I was lucky to have shared an office with him for a portion of my articling. While there are truly no words to express my sincerest condolences and terrible sadness, I wanted to let Kate and the Melcher family know that I will cherish the time we spent together swapping life stories (occasionally over a drink or two) and his unwavering support. I will miss his laughter, quick dry wit and kindness so much. He was just such a damn good guy and the world is a sadder place now that he is no longer in it.
My thoughts are with you all at this time. Graeme, cheers buddy - thank you for being you.
With love,
Meg Bennett
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Venetia Whiting donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, July 15, 2021
Dear Kate and Mr. and Mrs. Melcher and family
We were heartbroken to hear about the sudden loss of our cherished friend, Graeme.
We truly lost one of the best people we’ve had the honour of meeting. I first met Graeme during his time at Bennett Jones when he came to me for advice as a student. We quickly became good friends. Graeme always stood out as a kind, genuine, quick-witted and fiercely loyal friend. He was wise beyond his years. When we were expecting our first child, Graeme gifted us a copy of his favourite childhood book. Such a touching gesture that we will forever cherish.
We miss Graeme terribly and hope that wherever he is, he’s enjoying a good book and a cold beer.
With love,
The Whiting Family
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Shelby Morrison donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Thursday, July 15, 2021
Graeme was one of a kind. We are so sorry to learn of this epic loss. We send our love, condolences and thoughts to Kate and Graeme's family. Wherever he is now, I hope he is surrounded by beautiful nature, listening to awesome music and has a cold craft beer in hand.
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Stefanie Cardarelli posted a condolence
Thursday, July 15, 2021
I was fortunate enough to have shared an office with Graeme when we were articling students at Bennett Jones. Graeme was a huge source of support to me during our time together at the firm. He got me through every day with his quirky sense of humour and laughter, his ability to listen and his thoughtfulness. I am so grateful that we were both called to the bar at the same ceremony so we could share that day together. Graeme cared so much about helping students and young lawyers navigate the challenges of the legal profession and find happiness. He was always available for a coffee (we had several together at Pilot Coffee Roasters on Ossington) if you were having a bad day, month or year and needed someone to talk to. He was a huge advocate for mental health in the legal profession and he will be missed by so many.
Sending my deepest condolences to Kate and the Melcher family.
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Rik Hudson posted a condolence
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
I met Graeme when he was a very young child. My son and I would take neighborhood walks, often ending up at a playground near the Melcher home. Graeme and his mom were often there at the same time. The two hit it off and years later, became best friends when both were enrolled in the Gifted Program. They shared like interests that served to strengthen their friendship. That friendship was naturally extended to include the parents on both sides. The loss of Graeme is devastating to us all. It proves just how fleeting life can be and that every minute must be cherished. We offer our deepest condolences to the Melchers and to the group of friends Graeme cultivated. He will be sorely missed.
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Peter Jordan donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. May this donation be used to help others as Graeme wished and honouring a great person whos life was cut too short.
all our love, Janie, Pete, Jessica and Adam
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Katie uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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Graeme was loved by all of his colleagues at Supreme. He always had something funny to say or do to bring a smile to our faces. Graeme was not only smart and funny but also thoughtful - he cross stitched us all beautiful handmade gifts for Christmas one year. My condolences to Graemes family - he will be greatly missed and fondly remembered by many.
Katie
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Nicole Sale uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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I was lucky enough to work with Graeme over the last 2 years at Supreme. We referred to him as our fun lawyer since he was always thoughtful, quick-witted and a joy to work with. I am so thankful that I got to know him outside of work. I will always remember my time with him fondly, including when we ditched the office to watch (from a safe distance) the Raptors victory parade.
Kate & family - my heart is with you. He will be really missed.
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Sony uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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Mr. and Ms. Melcher - Thank you for raising such a wonderful man. We were blessed to be part of his life.
I had the pleasure of working with Graeme at Supreme. During this time, I got to know him professionally and personally. I will forever appreciate his lightning-fast wit and intelligence. He was a brilliant young lawyer. We learned from each other, supported each other, struggled together and most importantly laughed together. From Graeme falling off his chair (in extremely slow motion) during one of our first meetings together, his epic dinosaur collection, daily deli sandwiches to our Vancouver work trips - the laughter was endless. I will forever cherish the time we spent together.
Kate - Please know our thoughts, love and support are with you each and every day. You brought Graeme so much joy.
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Rik Hudson posted a symbolic gesture
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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I remember seeing Graeme and Nancy at a local playground when he was just a wee lad. I took my son, Austin, for a father/son walk, regularly. We often ended up at the playground when the Melchers were there. Austin and Graeme played for what seemed like hours. Later in life, they were both enrolled in the same school program for academically gifted. That led to a friendship that became a "best friendship." There were many adventures and memories forged. Graeme will deeply missed by us all.
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Pamela Danagher lit a candle
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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We send heartfelt condolences to the Melcher family and to Kate for this loss. A donation has been made to the Uxbridge Hospital Foundation in Graeme’s name. Wishing you peace in this difficult time
From Pam & Liam Danagher and family (on the Icely side)
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Kevin Fox lit a candle
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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I had the absolute pleasure and honour to have worked closely with Graeme during his tenure with Supreme. Extremely bright, thoughtful, supportive, quick witted and just an all-around great human being. I am so grateful, and thankful to have had my time with Graeme – you are missed greatly my friend.
Kate & family – my deepest condolences – my heart is with you.
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Jean Herold posted a symbolic gesture
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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It is with great sadness that we heard about Graeme. He was a good friend to all three of my sons, particularly Steven. He came over on Christmas day and played his guitar.
I loved to watch him perform at the music programs at Port Perry High School.
His entire family very talented.
I can only think of the lines from Billy Joel's song "Only the good die young".
Thinking of you,
Mark, Jeannie, Alex, Steven, Patrick and Melissa Herold
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Chris Sanz donated to UXBRIDGE COTTAGE HOSPITAL FOUNDATION
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
I am so sorry for your loss. Graeme was a light in my life and in so many of the lives of the people he knew. He will be dearly missed.
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Chris George uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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Graeme was always the life of every party. He was always as welcome in our home as he will be forever welcome in our hearts. All our love goes out to Nancy, Mark, Kate and all those who have us the gift of this extraordinary young man. While gone from us far too painfully soon, Graeme would want all of us to remember him with a smile, and even through the tears, we always will. God Bless. Debbie and Chris George
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Mary Jane Handy-Zamudio uploaded photo(s)
Wednesday, July 14, 2021
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The extraordinary Graeme, much loved by the Icely side of the family. It was such a pleasure to have him with Kate at our place in December, 2019. He'll be missed forever. Love and care from MaryJane and Edgar (Kate's aunt and uncle).
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The family of Graeme Melcher uploaded a photo
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
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